The Dunesteef Audio Fiction Magazine
The Best Stories in Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror and Other Genres

All that stands in a young man's way of getting on a colony ship bound for a new world and a better life is a few grams of extra weight, and Charlotte, of course.
 
Also, Big tells the tale of the tale, Rish talks about Secret Santas, and both wish you a happy holiday season.  Oh, and singing.  Lots of annoying singing.

Direct download: Dunesteef_120_Ass-Hat_Magic_Spider_by_Scott_Westerfeld.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:02am EST

Warning: If you're often offended about things, this one will probably do so.
 
In "Aldo," author Michael C. Thompson tells the story of a sort of love triangle in space.  Except one of them is a starship.
 
Afterward, Rish and Big talk about the elephant in the room.  And say goodbye to a master of puppets.

Special thanks to Rich Girardi for producing today's episode; to Juliet Bowler, and Rich Girardi for lending their voices to the tale; and SonnySee for the episode art.

Direct download: Dunesteef_119_Aldo_by_Michael_C._Thompson.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:02pm EST

Rish and Big don't have a story for you this week, but they do have an announcement.  That's right, the 2011 Broken Mirror Story Event is about to begin.  Let's listen in and find out what this year's premise will be, shall we?

Direct download: Dunesteef_Broken_Mirror_Announcement.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:51pm EST

When Tommy touches an object, he gets an impression from whoever has touched it before. He wanders the beach each day, combing it for discarded items that may in fact be lost treasures.

Afterward, Rish and Big talk beaches, their power, their allure, and the sharks that patrol their waters.

Special thanks to SonnySee for producing today's episode and to Desia B., and SonnySee for lending their voices to the tale.

Direct download: Dunesteef_118_Beachcombing_by_Ray_Cluley.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:32pm EST

A special Halloween treat (no, make that trick) for all of our listeners.

Edgar Allen Poe wrote a story based on a famous country music song called, "The Tell-Tale Heart."  Rish Outfield performs a reading of this classic tale just too late for anyone to actually listen to it before Halloween.

Afterward, Rish and special guest, Big Anklevich, talk about their favorite Halloween costumes, and Fake Sean Connery talks about his exploits with all the various members of our hosts' families.  What a delightful little scamp he is.

Direct download: Dunesteef_Bonus_Episode_The_Podcast_That_Dares_Not_Speak_Its_Name.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00am EST

A Silkie Wrap.  All the beautiful people are getting them.  After you've had yours, you'll feel like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon.  Hopefully, you can afford the price.

Afterward, Rish and Big talk a bit about that thing that's in the eye of the beholder, deals with the devil, the thing that's a joy forever, and that thing that's only skin deep.  Rish does go on and on even more than usual here, so be warned if he tends to offend you.

Special thanks to Tanja Milojevic for producing today's episode and to Wendy Cooper, Tanja Milojevic, Julie Hoverson, and Andrea Fontenot for lending their voices to the tale.

Direct download: Dunesteef_116_Silk_For_Moisture_Mud_For_Shine_by_Amanda_C_Davis.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:28pm EST

Old Mrs. Wakefield seems like such a nice lady.  All the kids love to go to her house after school on Fridays for treats.  Such a wonderful tradition they all enjoy so much. There couldn't possibly be something sinister underneath, could there?

Afterward, Rish and Big talk and talk and talk.  Evil children.  Trick or treating.  Halloween candy.  Clean-bots.  Kindly old people.  Snot-nosed brats.  Superman with elephantitis.  This is destined to be one of our best episodes ever.  Or easily our worst.

Special thanks to Scott Pigg for producing today's episode and to Wendy Cooper for lending her voice to the tale.

Direct download: Dunesteef_115_After_School_Snacks_by_K_Bowen_Black.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:38pm EST

When a household mishap causes Rudy to lose his finger, he discovers more than just dead tissue: something alive about the severed digit. How could that happen? What does it mean? Where is it going? I just can't put my finger on it...

Also, Rish about Big say a word or two about the unknown, and many more words about constructive criticism and trying to get better at creative endeavors.

Special thanks to Bryan Lincoln for producing today's story, and Veronica Giguere for lending her voice to the episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_114_Giving_Birth_by_Philip_Roberts.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:20pm EST

Produced and narrated by Tobias Queen, Harris Tobias brings us "The Troop," a tale about a sole human survivor on an alien planet, and his attempts to co-exist wit the native creatures there.
 
Afterward, Tobias Outfield and Big Tobias talk a bit about story production, a Dunesteef tribute folk song, as well as plugging their work elsewhere.  Tobias!

Direct download: Dunesteef_113_The_Troop_by_Harris_Tobias.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:18am EST

Michelle's mother and father aren't quite sure about their daughter's most recent choice in her love life.  Sure, the kid with the Mohawk and the sternum piercing was not what they'd hoped for, but now she's going out with The Grim Reaper?

Afterward, Big and Rish talk a bit about death.  Their conversation becomes totally predictable in the end.  Heck, I'll bet they end with thanking people and then signing off.

Special thanks to Sonny C. for producing today's story and to Juliet Bowler, R.E. Chambliss, and the Narrator for lending their voices to the episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_112_Death_And_Michelle_Jenkins_by_Christopher_Munroe.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:54am EST

It starts with Ogopogo.  Then, the floodgates are opened, and a deluge of monsters from all parts of Canada appear, heading for...Winnipeg?  What will Canada do?

Afterward, Big talks respectfully about Canada.  Rish does not.  And do the Dunesteef hosts believe in such things as Ogopogo, Sasquatches, and Manipogo?

Special thanks to Marshal Latham for producing today's story, and Wilson Fowlie, L. "Scribe" Harris, and Marshal Latham for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_111_All_The_Cool_Monsters_At_Once_by_James_Alan_Gardner.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:50am EST

"Don't touch it!  It's evil!"
 
For the captain and crew of the Nomad, the derelict spacecraft looks like a great opportunity for salvage.  But their little detour may end up costing them a lot more than time or money.
 
Also, Big and Rish talk afterward.  Novel, I know.  Rish has been inspired by filmmaker Kevin Smith, and maybe they can get Announcer Man to participate in the show today.

Special thanks to Bryan Lincoln for producing today's story and to Philippa Ballantine, Ray Saltrelli, Ayoub Khote, and Liz Lincoln for lending their voices to the episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_110_Dark_Detour_by_Lance_Young.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:39pm EST

What would Rish Outfield give for a Parsec Award nomination?  Would he give...his soul?
 
Also, Joshua Reynolds brings us "The Strange Affair of the Sundered Man."  Ameriquetzlan ambassador Ulrich Popoca returns, this time to investigate a baffling case involving a person still alive, despite being--quite literally--half the man he used to be.
 
Afterward, Big and Rish talk about their separate vacations, including a San Diego Comic-Con that made Rish--almost quite literally--old.

Special thanks to Rich Girardi for producing today's story and lending his voice to the episode.


Join us, as Mike Resnick brings us another adventure of space-faring ladies man and all around tough guy, Catastrophe Baker!
 
Also, Rish and Big talk about trying, trying again (if at first you don't succeed), as well as handling criticism.

Special thanks to R.E. Chambliss for producing today's story, and Rich Girardi, Kenn Crawford, Josh Roseman, R.E. Chambliss, L. Scribe Harris, and Craig Robertson for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_108_Catastrophe_Baker_And_The_Cold_Equations_by_Mike_Resnick.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:45pm EST

When the wombat comes, he'll find me gone.

Dan Coulter has lost his girlfriend, and cannot find anything to look forward to in life any further.  He's considering putting an end to it once and for all.  At that moment, with gun in hand, he sees a rather unusual want ad.  The only caveat?  Whoever responds to this ad must be able to bring their own weapons.  Well, at least Dan can fill that part of the ad, right?

Afterward, Big and Rish talk about Neanderthal accents, the BBC series "Doctor Who," as well as waxing poetic about time travel once again.

Special thanks to Marshal Latham for producing today's story, and Julie Hoverson for lending her voice to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_107_Must_Have_Own_Weapons_by_Edward_McKeown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:03pm EST

Peeeeeeeeace.

The previously kind, docile, and sane people of town have turned violent and bloodthirsty.  They're killing off anyone in town who is normally willing to do violence, from murderers to police officers.http://dunesteef.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=1675&action=edit&message=10  How can Sgt. Davies save herself and her family?

Afterward, Big and Rish talk about feedback, especially comments, about this episode and old ones.  A second incentive episode is announced.  Also, Rish tries to coin the term "as thick as nails."  And "renumeration."  This is not his night.

Special thanks to Tanja Milojevic for producing today's story, and Peter Katt, Andriana Marchio, Richard Garner, Jack Kincaid, Moses Bisel, Tobias Queen, Sale Marchio, and Tanja Milojevic for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_106_Peacemaker_Peacemaker_Little_Bo_Peep_by_Jason_Sanford.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:13am EST

Seven years ago, loser drug-addict Joey and his bullying, hulking friend Emmett made a deal with the Beelz.  The details are hazy, maybe something about a job, maybe something about a book, but now the word on the streets is that Beelz is back, and ready to collect.
 
To say more might be too say too much.
 
Also, Rish tries to apologize for how late this episode is, Big tries to deflect blame, and the subject of casting against type is discussed.

Special thanks to Rich Girardi and to Juliet Bowler for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_105_Emmett_Joey__The_Beelz_by_Ralph_Sevush.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:05pm EST

Written by Damon Shaw and produced by Scott Pigg, "Whelp" tells the disturbing story of Ivan, who is forced to deal with a very strange and unsettling dog.
 
Afterward, Big and Rish talk about...stuff.  Maybe it was about how different producers bring different things to their projects, maybe it was about the catharsis of writing, sorry, I wasn't really paying attention (the game was on).

Special thanks to Scott Pigg for producing today's story and Julie Hoverson for lending her voice.

Direct download: Dunesteef_104_Whelp_by_Damon_Shaw.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:14pm EST

Life aboard the Van Leuwenhoek spacecraft is tough.  There's pretty much constant war with the Venusians, not to mention the daily duties, subspace apparitions, and the difficulties with the Lunars.  And then, there are the cockroaches.

Afterward, Big and Rish ask if this story is Space Opera.  What is Space Opera?  Does it involve singing?  Is 2001 Space Opera?  What about Alien?  What are the subgenres of Science Fiction?  Can Rish say what he thinks of the SyFy Channel without violating his sensitivity training?

Also, would R080T be better or worse if he had a different voice?  Only several ways to know for sure.

Please excuse the audio problems on this show.  It won't happen again...at least, we don't think it will.

Direct download: Dunesteef_103_The_Voyage_Of_The_Van_Leeuwenhoek_by_John_Medaille.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:45am EST

Kendall Anderson meets his new neighbor whilst shoveling the snow off his driveway, only to discover he's a bit of an oddball.  But not to be outdone, Kendall reveals he's got a dark side as well.

Afterward, the Dunesteef gang talk about ambition, failed projects, and unrealized dreams.

Direct download: Dunesteef_102_Shoveling_Match.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:20am EST

Rish asked me if I would play the promo for his new podcasting venture.  Out of pity, after he told me how dull and two-dimensional the phantom zone is, I agreed.  So, here you go.

Direct download: New_Podcast_Promo.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:04am EST

Billy is an outer, the lowest of the low.  No respect from anyone.  When his mother sends him out to gather weemer mushrooms for a recipe she's cooking up, he has no idea just how much his life will be changing.

Afterward, Big and new co-host R080T talk about the story, the change-up in the Fantastic Four's team, and Big's eventual death and difficulty excreting.

Special thanks Abigail Hilton for lending her voice to today's story.

Direct download: Dunesteef_101_Becoming_Brother_by_Leo_Godin.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:32pm EST

There was an error with the original upload of this episode that caused 25 minutes of the show to disappear.  This is the corrected upload.

The Dunesteef Audio Fiction Magazine marks one hundred over-long episodes with “The Battle of Leila the Dog” by Rick Kennett.

Cy De Gerch is being pestered by the sound of a whining dog…only dogs aren’t allowed on the bridge of a fighting space vessel in a war zone. What is going on?

Afterward, Big and Rish talk about . . . oh no, not about dogs again. Ghost dogs! “Where the Red Fern Grows!” Corporal Liam Tasker! This can only end badly. And it looks like Rish Outfield has opened his big mouth one time too many.

Special thanks R.E. Chambliss, Rich Girardi, and Josh Roseman for lending their voices to today’s episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_100_The_Battle_Of_Leila_The_Dog_by_Rick_Kennett.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:39pm EST

Written on a dare, and produced by Bryan "The Fonz" Lincoln, the Dunesteef brings you "Spider Hunt."
 
Lysel was attacked and bitten by a giant venomous spider, now Leyton must collect dozens of venom sacs to make the antidote for the poison, or his sister will perish.  Can he get them in time...
 
Afterward, Big and Rish talk about spiders, the sounds they might make, and creative outlets.  Big talks about "The Thundercats" and Rish complains about special effects...again.  Just count yourself lucky they don't sing the theme to "Mister Belvedere."

Special thanks Bryan Lincoln for producing today's story, and to Angela Moore for lending her voice to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_99_Spider_Hunt_by_Kenneth_Yu.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:38am EST

Where will you be when the end of the world comes?  At home, able to spend the final days of your life with your loved ones?  Or will you be caught far away, and spend your final days trying get back to them?  And what does Tupac Shakur have to do with all of this?

Also, Big talks about the Muppets, Rish talks his usual nonsense, and they both talk about the story's ending.  Plus, Big recounts his recent battle with gurus!
 
Warning: the "bunt" jokes begin here.  Next week, they get worse.

Special thanks to Rich Girardi for producing the story, and to Juliet Bowler and Rich Girardi for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_98_Tupac_Shakur_And_The_End_Of_The_World_by_Sandra_McDonald.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EST

Big Anklevich and Rish Outfield are relieved to bring you the final entry in the Dunesteef's Lost Episode Trilogy..."Anakoinosis" by Tobias Buckell.

Humans have come to the home world of an alien species known as the whiffets.  The whiffets are eager to learn all that humans have to teach them.  They are helping the humans repair the damage to their ship, but are the humans helping the whiffets?

Afterward, Rish instigates a difficult conversation about human nature, opportunism, and slavery.  Are you a Bob or a red-haired guy?

Special thanks Marshal Latham for producing today's story, and to Dave Thompson, Graeme Dunlop, and Marshal Latham for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_97_Anakoinosis_by_Tobias_Buckell.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:38am EST

The Dunesteef is heartily sorry to present the second of their Lost Episode Trilogy, since it is so long overdue.

Carl Stanley has survived the Zombie Apocalypse so far, but that’s not to say he’s escaped unscathed. As a matter of fact, he was bitten by a little girl zombie, and now, he’s starting to feel and act strangely…

Afterward, Big and Rish chat about zombies, and talk a bit about the then-new “Walking Dead” TV series.

Special thanks R.E. Chambliss for producing today’s story and for lending her voice to the episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_96_Sides_by_Clay_Dugger.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:39am EST

The Dunesteef is moderately sorry to bring you the first in its Lost Episode Trilogy.

In Rick Kennett's "Out of the Storm" -- They found the H.M.A.S. Barrinji damaged and abandoned floating out of a storm that had sunk three other ships.  The Barrinji really should have sunk as well, but for some reason, she's a lucky ship.  Perhaps too lucky.

Also, Big and Rish swap boating experiences, talk about nautical jargon, ghost ships, the Australian problem, the Drabblecast, and Frood the Buffer.

Special thanks Marshal Latham for producing today's story, and to Cameron Horsburgh, Simon Dooley, Patrick Dwyer, Dylan Boyd, Ben Maclain, and Julian Ramundi for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_95_Out_Of_The_Storm_by_Rick_Kennett.mp3
Category:podcasts -- posted at: 12:36pm EST

Mike Resnick, king of tearjerkers, brings us a different kind of story...

Catastrophe Baker.  The toughest, meanest, proudest, strongest, fastest, smoothest man in any room.  No one in the galaxy is better with a swinging fist.  Or a swinging woman.  In this week's adventure, Catastrophe is in a race against time to retrieve a priceless canticle...whatever that is.

Also, Big and Rish talk about the Parsec Awards, Voluptua Von Climax, and matching wits against gurus.

Special thanks Julie Hoverson and R.E. Chambliss for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Catastrophe_Baker_And_A_Canticle_For_Leibowitz_by_Mike_Resnick.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:00am EST

An alarm has started ringing, but no one knows what it's for.  Old Havermayer, the beggar, says it's a signal to alert the town that the dragon wakes.  Could it be true?  What will become of this peaceful town?

Plus, Rish and Big talk Batman casting (that's right, they cast Bane's part...oh, and maybe another part too), and someone stops in to offer Rish Outfield a little help with women, just in time for Valentine's Day.

Special thanks Marshal Latham for producing today's story, and to Bryan Lincoln, Marshal Latham, and Kelly Latham for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_93_The_Alarm_by_Harris_Tobias.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:54pm EST

A plague bird has come to Cristina de Ane.  What does it want?  To punish her old boyfriend for attacking and crippling her?  To punish someone in the next town over for their savage ways?  To punish Cristina's own town for some new misdeed?  Or something else entirely?
 
Afterward, Rish gets violently ill, and he and Big talk about vomiting for waaay too long.  Plus, they ask the musical question, can Hilton help the hopeless?

Special thanks Bryan Lincoln for producing today's story, and to L. "Scribe" Harris, Abigail Hilton, Norm Sherman, R.E. Chambliss, Stacy Dooks, John Riendeau, and Liz Lincoln for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_92_Plague_Birds_by_Jason_Sanford.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:41pm EST

When Ben is accosted by a crazy man insisting that Ben is the heir to a far-off, magical land, he shrugs it off as the sort of thing you experience riding public transit in Los Angeles (of course, this could just be Rish's experience talking).  But when another stranger claims the same thing, he begins to worry.
 
Afterward, Big and Rish talk about being "The Chosen One," which devolves into superhero talk.  Also, they make their listeners an offer that hopefully some won't refuse, and discover that everybody wants a bosom for a pillow.

Special thanks Clay Dugger for producing today's story, and to R.E. Chambliss, Kenn Crawford, Andy Kjar, Lynn Boyd and Clay Dugger for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_91_The_Invisible_Kingdom_by_Mark_LS_Stone.mp3
Category:podcasts -- posted at: 3:14pm EST

When the priests name 10-year-old Arem as the new king, they expect to be able to continue their way of life without a hiccup.  Arem might have other plans...

Also, Big and Rish talk about wife-beater tank tops, Winger, New Year's resolutions, and even use a special radio magic time machine.

Special thanks to Eric J. Blommel, Rich Girardi, and Josh Roseman for lending their voices to today's episode.

Direct download: Dunesteef_90_May_He_Reign_Forever_by_Nathaniel_Lee.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:59am EST